Author: Wilson Mizner Page 2

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Communication Self Speech

The most efficient water power in the world – women's tears.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
People Women

He’s the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Frugal Insults Money

I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics

You're a mouse studying to be a rat.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Animals Insults

A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Communication Insults Opinion

Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Hollywood Insults Places

Why should I talk to you? I've just been talking with your boss.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Last words

In the battle of existence, talent is the punch; tact is the clever footwork.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics

Failure has gone to his head.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics Failure Insults Problems

Always be nice to people on the way up; because you'll meet the same people on the way down.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
People Situations Work

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Family Mothers