Author: Wilson Mizner Page 2

This might have been good for a picture… except it has too many characters in it.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

Life’s a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

He's a trellis for varicose veins.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

In the battle of existence, talent is the punch; tact is the clever footwork.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, "Have you read…"

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

He'd steal a hot stove and come back for the smoke.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

Many a live wire would be a dead one except for his connections.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

The worst-tempered people I’ve ever met were the people who knew they were wrong.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor – unassisted.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

Failure has gone to his head.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter