Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Wilson Mizner Page 2
This might have been good for a picture… except it has too many characters in it.
Wilson Mizner
(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Entertainment
Film
Of the Los Angeles phone book
Life’s a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.
Wilson Mizner
(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Life
Time
He's a trellis for varicose veins.
Wilson Mizner
(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Appearance
Body
Insults
About a very thin man
Varicose veins
In the battle of existence, talent is the punch; tact is the clever footwork.
Wilson Mizner
(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics
Tact
Talent
The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
Wilson Mizner
(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Husbands
Marriage
Situations
Sleep
Wives
I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, "Have you read…"
Wilson Mizner
(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics
Honesty
Lies
He'd steal a hot stove and come back for the smoke.
Wilson Mizner
(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics
Insults
Steal
Many a live wire would be a dead one except for his connections.
Wilson Mizner
(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics
Connections
Influence
Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
Wilson Mizner
(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Intelligence
People
The worst-tempered people I’ve ever met were the people who knew they were wrong.
Wilson Mizner
(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
People
Judgment
Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor – unassisted.
Wilson Mizner
(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Emotions
Love
Actors
Failure has gone to his head.
Wilson Mizner
(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics
Failure
Insults
Problems
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