Author: Wilson Mizner Page 2

I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Government Insults Law Lawyers Money

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from something.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Activities

The worst-tempered people I’ve ever met were the people who knew they were wrong.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
People

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Beliefs Education Religion

I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics

The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Husbands Marriage Situations Sleep Wives

Failure has gone to his head.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics Failure Insults Problems

Why should I talk to you? I've just been talking with your boss.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Last words

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Family Places Relationships

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Communication Self Speech

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Family Mothers

Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Hollywood Insults Places