Author: Woody Allen Page 4

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Age Old

The baby is fine; the only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Insults Relationships Ugly

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it’s one of the best.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Sex and death; two things that come once in a lifetime… only after death, you’re not so nauseous.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Sex

Death is a wonderful way of cutting down on your expenses.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Money

Marriage is the death of hope.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Marriage

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad; the good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Situations Sleep

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Clothing Science/Weather

Sonja: What are you suggesting, passive resistance?

Boris: No, I'm suggesting active fleeing.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Raised by two mothers? … Wow, most of us barely survive one.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Family Mothers

I've never been an intellectual, but I have this look.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Intelligence

I have an intense desire to return to the womb… anybody's.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Situations

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Money

The only cultural advantage L.A. has over New York is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Driving New York City Places

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Education

I don’t think my family liked me… they put a live teddy bear in my crib.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Age Family Self Young

I haven’t seen my analyst in 200 years. He was a strict Freudian. If I’d been going all this time, I’d probably almost be cured by now.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I’m pale and I’m redheaded. I don't tan – I stroke!

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Body TV/Movie Quotes

I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Places

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Emotions Fear