Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Instructions
Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone.
Instructions
Signs
On a box of pills.
In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors.
Instructions
Signs
In a car manual
INSTRUCTIONS: Pour a teaspoonful of the shampoo into the palm of each hand…
Instructions
Signs
Label on bottle
For heat-retaining corrugated cardboard technology to function properly, close lid.
Instructions
Signs
On a Domino's sandwich box
Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.
Instructions
Signs
On a portable stroller
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
Instructions
Signs
On a Swann frozen dinner
Instructions: usage known.
Instructions
Signs
On a can of black pepper
In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors.
Instructions
Signs
In a car manual
Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth.
Instructions
Signs
On a bottled drink
Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.
Instructions
Signs
A birthday card for a 1 year old
The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position.
Instructions
Signs
On an electric kettle
Do not turn upside down.
Instructions
Signs
On the BOTTOM of a dessert
Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.
Instructions
Signs
Manual for an SGI computer
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
Instructions
Signs
Instructions: usage known.
Instructions
Signs
On a container of black pepper.
Open packet. Eat contents.
Instructions
Signs
On a packet of peanuts.
How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby.
Instructions
Signs
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
Instructions
Signs
Instructions on the packaging for a muffin
Open packet. Eat contents.
Instructions
Signs
Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts
Please include the proper portion of your bill.
Instructions
Signs
On the envelope for an auto insurance bill
Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants.
Instructions
Signs
On a bag of cat biscuits
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