Author: Sign Page 16

Thai Me Up

SLOW CATTLE CROSSING. NO OVERTAKING FOR THE NEXT 100 YRS.

Your Number 2 Is Our Number 1!

Save Energy – How Would YOU Like It If Someone Turned You On and Then Left?

Our Credit Advisor Is Mrs. Helen Waite. If You Want Credit From Us, Go To Helen Waite.

We Dispense With Accuracy

Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: "The Gates of Heaven."

Below that was a small cardboard sign which read: "Please use other entrance."

Free Trip To Heaven. Details Inside!

Do not use while sleeping.

Caution: Objects in the mirror may have flunked drivers education.

Tired of the same old diet plans that don't work? Try this one!

The Man Lock by McGard – PROTECTS YOUR MANHOLE – Against Unwanted Access – McGard Special Products Division

The best piece of chicken you'll ever get without being a rooster.

The courtesy phone is temporarily out of service. For assistance please call 503-849….

NOTICE – While You Are Reading This There is a Man in One of the Windows High Above You Who is Taking Your Photograph. He Will Then Make a Wee Model of You and Put it With Other Wee Models of Other People, Then He Plays Weird Games With Them.

Your vinyl resting place.

Mental Health Prevention Center

I dropped a pair of scissors behind my stove, but my arms are too big to reach them. If you have a child with slim arms, meet me here at 4 pm Tuesday. We’ll take him to my house and see if his arms fit behind my stove. Bring fireproof gloves and a light snack.

Beaver Cleaners

ENTRANCE ONLY – DO NOT ENTER

Salad Dressing $1.89 – Save 93.11 – 295.00 per oz.