Author: Sign Page 16

Thai Me Up

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SLOW CATTLE CROSSING. NO OVERTAKING FOR THE NEXT 100 YRS.

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Your Number 2 Is Our Number 1!

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Save Energy – How Would YOU Like It If Someone Turned You On and Then Left?

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Our Credit Advisor Is Mrs. Helen Waite. If You Want Credit From Us, Go To Helen Waite.

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We Dispense With Accuracy

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Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: "The Gates of Heaven."

Below that was a small cardboard sign which read: "Please use other entrance."

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Free Trip To Heaven. Details Inside!

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Do not use while sleeping.

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Caution: Objects in the mirror may have flunked drivers education.

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Tired of the same old diet plans that don't work? Try this one!

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The Man Lock by McGard – PROTECTS YOUR MANHOLE – Against Unwanted Access – McGard Special Products Division

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The best piece of chicken you'll ever get without being a rooster.

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The courtesy phone is temporarily out of service. For assistance please call 503-849….

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NOTICE – While You Are Reading This There is a Man in One of the Windows High Above You Who is Taking Your Photograph. He Will Then Make a Wee Model of You and Put it With Other Wee Models of Other People, Then He Plays Weird Games With Them.

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Your vinyl resting place.

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Mental Health Prevention Center

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I dropped a pair of scissors behind my stove, but my arms are too big to reach them. If you have a child with slim arms, meet me here at 4 pm Tuesday. We’ll take him to my house and see if his arms fit behind my stove. Bring fireproof gloves and a light snack.

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Beaver Cleaners

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ENTRANCE ONLY – DO NOT ENTER

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Salad Dressing $1.89 – Save 93.11 – 295.00 per oz.

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