Author: Sign Page 19

ATM Machine – No Dogs – No Bicycles

Been burglarized? Get alarmed!

Forgive Your Enemies – It Messes With Their Heads

No muff too tough for us!

Absolutely No Soliciting • Especially Alternative Energy Suppliers!

Edifice Wrecks

Servers Wanted All You Can Eat 4–9 PM

Ace Exterminating – We Kill Bugs Dead, Walk-Ins Welcome

WARNING – Fasten Bra Straps and Remove Dentures – Very Bumpy Road

Bait Sandwiches • LUCAS FOODS • Ice Gas

Due to Increasing Problems With Letter Louts and Vandals We Must Ask Anyone With Relatives Buried in the Graveyard to Do Their Best to Keep Them in Order

No Concealable Weapons Allowed • No Unconcealable Weapons Allowed

Not a Through Street – No U-Turn

CELEBRATE CANADA DAY • Wax Your Beaver • Bikini Wax $20

BYE

NOTICE – While You Are Reading This There is a Man in One of the Windows High Above You Who is Taking Your Photograph. He Will Then Make a Wee Model of You and Put it With Other Wee Models of Other People, Then He Plays Weird Games With Them.

Please Do Not Wash Your Feet in the Urinals and Sinks

Don’t let worry kill you — let the church help.

Everyone On the Premises Is a Vegetarian Except the Dog

Beat Diabetes – Buy 5 Jr. Frostys For $1

Caution: Road Slippery From Grape Juice