Author: Sign Page 19

ATM Machine – No Dogs – No Bicycles

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Been burglarized? Get alarmed!

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Forgive Your Enemies – It Messes With Their Heads

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No muff too tough for us!

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Absolutely No Soliciting • Especially Alternative Energy Suppliers!

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Edifice Wrecks

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Servers Wanted All You Can Eat 4–9 PM

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Ace Exterminating – We Kill Bugs Dead, Walk-Ins Welcome

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WARNING – Fasten Bra Straps and Remove Dentures – Very Bumpy Road

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Bait Sandwiches • LUCAS FOODS • Ice Gas

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Due to Increasing Problems With Letter Louts and Vandals We Must Ask Anyone With Relatives Buried in the Graveyard to Do Their Best to Keep Them in Order

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No Concealable Weapons Allowed • No Unconcealable Weapons Allowed

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Not a Through Street – No U-Turn

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CELEBRATE CANADA DAY • Wax Your Beaver • Bikini Wax $20

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BYE

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NOTICE – While You Are Reading This There is a Man in One of the Windows High Above You Who is Taking Your Photograph. He Will Then Make a Wee Model of You and Put it With Other Wee Models of Other People, Then He Plays Weird Games With Them.

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Please Do Not Wash Your Feet in the Urinals and Sinks

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Don’t let worry kill you — let the church help.

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Everyone On the Premises Is a Vegetarian Except the Dog

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Beat Diabetes – Buy 5 Jr. Frostys For $1

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Caution: Road Slippery From Grape Juice

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