Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Sign Page 19
BUY ONE, GET ONE
Sign
Signs
We’ll clean for you. We’ll press for you. We’ll even dye for you.
Sign
Signs
At a dry cleaner shop
Kids With Gas Eat Free!
Sign
Signs
At a restaurant/gas station
Insert one rectally by mouth every day as needed.
Sign
Signs
On a prescription label
MIRROR UNDER REPAIR. PLEASE DO NOT USE.
Sign
Signs
No Unauthorized Trespassing After Nine P.M.
Sign
Signs
On the Franklin Massachusetts town common
FOR HELP 1. Push RED BUTTON
2. Or YELL
Sign
Signs
DO NOT use microwave and toaster oven at the same time. It will throw Earth out of orbit and we’ll plummet into the sun. Thank you.
Sign
Signs
B&B LIQUORS – Party Store/Beer & Wine • The Liver is Evil – It Must Be Punished
Sign
Signs
⬆ 316 – 333,339
Sign
Signs
Apparently denoting room numbers in the hall of a motel
The Copier is out of Order! Yes – We have called the serviceman.
Yes – He will be in today. No – We cannot fix it.
No – We do not know how long it will take.
No – We do not know what caused it.
No – We do not know who broke it. Yes – We are keeping it.
No – We do not know what you are going to do now. – Thank You
Sign
Signs
On a copy machine
Just a shade better.
Sign
Signs
On an awning manufacturer’s door
THE NORTONS – No Relatives Allowed
Sign
Signs
At a home
Sign Not In Use
Sign
Signs
Road sign
Caution: Not An Automatic Door
Sign
Signs
By the door of a restaurant
Pole Dancing is Prohibited
Sign
Signs
Translations
In a park in China
SHOPLIFTERS – Will Be Dealt With in a Medieval Fashion
Sign
Signs
CAT FOUND – (over two pictures of an opossum) Black & tan with grey – Male – No collar – Not very friendly, I think he might be scared. – Not house broken either – Found on Sunset Blvd. – If he is yours, Please call …
Sign
Signs
Sign on a telephone pole
Live Artificial Trees
Sign
Signs
Outside a gift shop
Now Hiring / Sausage Biscuits / $1
Sign
Signs
A sign at a McDonald's
Bach In a Minuet
Sign
Signs
On the door of a music library
Page 19 of 46
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