Author: Sign Page 19

BUY ONE, GET ONE

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We’ll clean for you. We’ll press for you. We’ll even dye for you.

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Kids With Gas Eat Free!

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Insert one rectally by mouth every day as needed.

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MIRROR UNDER REPAIR. PLEASE DO NOT USE.

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No Unauthorized Trespassing After Nine P.M.

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FOR HELP 1. Push RED BUTTON

2. Or YELL

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DO NOT use microwave and toaster oven at the same time. It will throw Earth out of orbit and we’ll plummet into the sun. Thank you.

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B&B LIQUORS – Party Store/Beer & Wine • The Liver is Evil – It Must Be Punished

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⬆ 316 – 333,339

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The Copier is out of Order! Yes – We have called the serviceman.
Yes – He will be in today. No – We cannot fix it.
No – We do not know how long it will take.
No – We do not know what caused it.
No – We do not know who broke it. Yes – We are keeping it.
No – We do not know what you are going to do now. – Thank You

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Just a shade better.

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THE NORTONS – No Relatives Allowed

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Sign Not In Use

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Caution: Not An Automatic Door

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Pole Dancing is Prohibited

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SHOPLIFTERS – Will Be Dealt With in a Medieval Fashion

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CAT FOUND – (over two pictures of an opossum) Black & tan with grey – Male – No collar – Not very friendly, I think he might be scared. – Not house broken either – Found on Sunset Blvd. – If he is yours, Please call …

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Live Artificial Trees

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Now Hiring / Sausage Biscuits / $1

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Bach In a Minuet

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