Author: Sign Page 19

BUY ONE, GET ONE

We’ll clean for you. We’ll press for you. We’ll even dye for you.

Kids With Gas Eat Free!

Insert one rectally by mouth every day as needed.

MIRROR UNDER REPAIR. PLEASE DO NOT USE.

No Unauthorized Trespassing After Nine P.M.

FOR HELP 1. Push RED BUTTON

2. Or YELL

DO NOT use microwave and toaster oven at the same time. It will throw Earth out of orbit and we’ll plummet into the sun. Thank you.

B&B LIQUORS – Party Store/Beer & Wine • The Liver is Evil – It Must Be Punished

⬆ 316 – 333,339

The Copier is out of Order! Yes – We have called the serviceman.
Yes – He will be in today. No – We cannot fix it.
No – We do not know how long it will take.
No – We do not know what caused it.
No – We do not know who broke it. Yes – We are keeping it.
No – We do not know what you are going to do now. – Thank You

Just a shade better.

THE NORTONS – No Relatives Allowed

Sign Not In Use

Caution: Not An Automatic Door

Pole Dancing is Prohibited

SHOPLIFTERS – Will Be Dealt With in a Medieval Fashion

CAT FOUND – (over two pictures of an opossum) Black & tan with grey – Male – No collar – Not very friendly, I think he might be scared. – Not house broken either – Found on Sunset Blvd. – If he is yours, Please call …

Live Artificial Trees

Now Hiring / Sausage Biscuits / $1

Bach In a Minuet