Author: Sign Page 31

SMITH and MOORE • CABINETMAKERS and UNDERTAKERS

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We Exchange Anything! Why Not Bring Your Wife Along and Get a Wonderful Bargain!

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Why Go Elsewhere and Be Cheated When You Can Come Here

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Lent: Spring Training For Christians

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Dew It Yourself

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Honk If You Love Jesus, Text While Driving If You Want to Meet Him

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WARNING – Do Not Hump – Humping this Bridge Has Caused Death and Permanent Injury

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Wise guise

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HIGH PRICES!!

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NOTICE – While You Are Reading This There is a Man in One of the Windows High Above You Who is Taking Your Photograph. He Will Then Make a Wee Model of You and Put it With Other Wee Models of Other People, Then He Plays Weird Games With Them.

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Urinals Are Secured Until Further Notice

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DO NOT use microwave and toaster oven at the same time. It will throw Earth out of orbit and we’ll plummet into the sun. Thank you.

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Heaven Is Full – Go Home

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67 School of Nursing and Midwifery – Deliveries at rear of building

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We've Got What It Takes to Take What You've Got

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Please Do Not Litter! – This Area Is Subject to Perminant Closing If Litter Becomes a Problem [sic]

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Ask About Our Layaway Plan

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Donuts Are Round and Have a Hole in Them

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Please Use Other Door – Emergency Use Only Due to Slapped Door

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Toy Weapons Must Be Checked at Ticket Counter

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TODAY’S SPECIAL: Barely Soup

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