Author: Sign Page 31

SMITH and MOORE • CABINETMAKERS and UNDERTAKERS

We Exchange Anything! Why Not Bring Your Wife Along and Get a Wonderful Bargain!

Why Go Elsewhere and Be Cheated When You Can Come Here

Lent: Spring Training For Christians

Dew It Yourself

Honk If You Love Jesus, Text While Driving If You Want to Meet Him

WARNING – Do Not Hump – Humping this Bridge Has Caused Death and Permanent Injury

Wise guise

HIGH PRICES!!

NOTICE – While You Are Reading This There is a Man in One of the Windows High Above You Who is Taking Your Photograph. He Will Then Make a Wee Model of You and Put it With Other Wee Models of Other People, Then He Plays Weird Games With Them.

Urinals Are Secured Until Further Notice

DO NOT use microwave and toaster oven at the same time. It will throw Earth out of orbit and we’ll plummet into the sun. Thank you.

Heaven Is Full – Go Home

67 School of Nursing and Midwifery – Deliveries at rear of building

We've Got What It Takes to Take What You've Got

Please Do Not Litter! – This Area Is Subject to Perminant Closing If Litter Becomes a Problem [sic]

Ask About Our Layaway Plan

Donuts Are Round and Have a Hole in Them

Please Use Other Door – Emergency Use Only Due to Slapped Door

Toy Weapons Must Be Checked at Ticket Counter

TODAY’S SPECIAL: Barely Soup