Author: Sign Page 9

No Smorking in Building

Signs

Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: "The Gates of Heaven."

Below that was a small cardboard sign which read: "Please use other entrance."

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THINK • Do it Right The First Time! Plan Ahead

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Please Do Not Throw Stones at This Sign – Thank You

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Trespassers Will Be Prosecuted To the Full Extent Of the Law

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Warning – Please look under your vehicle for penguins

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Please Use Middle Door

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BRAZIER FOODS • CHEESECAKE LIZZARDS ARE HERE

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No Parking Above This Sign

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B O, Every Saturday Night, 6:30 pm

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HELP WANTED – Must Not Be Dead

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Out For a Quick Byte

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In honor of Earth Day, anyone asking for help today will be treated like dirt.

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Let Me Meat Your Needs

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STOP – PLease Wait for Attendant – We Cannot Wash Any Grand-Ams

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Do not open this door when locked.

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Shoe Repair – I Will Heel You – I Will Save Your Sole – I Will Even Dye For You

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Speed Limit 13½

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NO HORN BLOWING – Except For Anger

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This Month Specials – No Fuel

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Pleased to Meat You

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