Keyword: Arguments

If you can't answer a man's arguments, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

(1874 – 1963) American poet

I like to do all the talking myself; it saves time, and prevents arguments.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

No matter what side of an argument you're on, you always find some people on your side that wish you were on the other side.

(1901 –-1987) Russian-American violinist

My wife and I had words – but I never got to use mine.

There are two sides to every argument, unless a person is personally involved, in which case there is only one.

I’ve never won an argument with her; and the only times I thought I had, I found out the argument wasn’t over yet.

(1924 – ) 39th U.S. president & humanitarian

The only person who listens to both sides of a husband and wife argument is the woman in the next apartment.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist

I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

The only people who listen to both sides of a family quarrel are the next-door neighbors.

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.

(1863 – 1941) U.S. senator (California) & U.S. Secretary of the Treasury

An argument is two people trying to get in the last word first.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Before arguing with your boss, make absolutely sure you’re right – then let the matter drop.

There are two sides to every argument, and they’re usually married to each other.

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.

A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he’s talking about.

My wife was too beautiful for words… but not for arguments.

(1882 – 1942) American actor

Any facts which, when included in the argument, give the desired result, are fair facts for the argument.

Never get into an argument with a schizophrenic person and say, "Who do you think you are?"

(1956 – 1996) American comedian, actor & television host