Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Keyword:
Arnold Schwarzenegger
In his bodybuilding days Arnold Schwarzenegger was known as the Austrian Oak; then he started acting and was know as… the Austrian Oak.
Jack Dee
(1961 – ) English standup comedian, actor & writer
Acting
Entertainment
Reviews/Criticism
Arnold Schwarzenegger
My English is a mixture between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Archbishop Tutu.
Billy Wilder
(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Communication
Speech
Archbishop Tutu
Arnold Schwarzenegger
English
Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.
Conan O'Brien
(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Government
Language
Politicians
Arnold Schwarzenegger
George W. Bush
California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s popularity has been slipping in recent months as residents slowly begin to realize they elected Arnold Schwarzenegger to be their governor.
Tina Fey
(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes
Arnold Schwarzenegger
From Weekend Update on “Saturday Night Live”
I once described him [Arnold Schwarzenegger] as looking like a condom full of walnuts.
Clive James
(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Appearance
Insults
Arnold Schwarzenegger
He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
Phyllis Diller
(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance
Body
People
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Muscles
Critics noted Schwarzenegger’s only previous government experience was serving as chairman of the Council of Physical Fitness, where his only responsibility was doing hundreds of jumping jacks he was doing anyway.
Jon Stewart
(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government
Arnold Schwarzenegger