Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Keyword:
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Critics noted Schwarzenegger’s only previous government experience was serving as chairman of the Council of Physical Fitness, where his only responsibility was doing hundreds of jumping jacks he was doing anyway.
Jon Stewart
(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government
Arnold Schwarzenegger
California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s popularity has been slipping in recent months as residents slowly begin to realize they elected Arnold Schwarzenegger to be their governor.
Tina Fey
(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes
Arnold Schwarzenegger
From Weekend Update on “Saturday Night Live”
I once described him [Arnold Schwarzenegger] as looking like a condom full of walnuts.
Clive James
(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Appearance
Insults
Arnold Schwarzenegger
My English is a mixture between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Archbishop Tutu.
Billy Wilder
(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Communication
Speech
Archbishop Tutu
Arnold Schwarzenegger
English
Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.
Conan O'Brien
(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Government
Language
Politicians
Arnold Schwarzenegger
George W. Bush
He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
Phyllis Diller
(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance
Body
People
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Muscles
In his bodybuilding days Arnold Schwarzenegger was known as the Austrian Oak; then he started acting and was know as… the Austrian Oak.
Jack Dee
(1961 – ) English standup comedian, actor & writer
Acting
Entertainment
Reviews/Criticism
Arnold Schwarzenegger