Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Keyword:
As Blackadder in “Blackadder”
Am I jumping the gun Baldrick, or are the words ‘I have a cunning plan’ marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Blackadder in “Blackadder”
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the devil’s own satanic herd!
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
Life
Problems
TV/Movie Quotes
As Blackadder in “Blackadder”
Uggh, the devil farts in my face once again…
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Blackadder in “Blackadder”
But they have one great redeeming feature: their wallets! More capacious than an elephant’s scrotum, and just as difficult to get your hands on!
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Blackadder in “Blackadder”
[about the dictionary] It’s the most pointless book since “How to Learn French”… was translated into French.
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Blackadder in “Blackadder”
Dictionaries
Oh God, bills, bills, bills. … Honestly Baldrick, sometimes I feel like a pelican – whichever way I turn, I’ve still got an enormous bill in front of me.
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
Money
TV/Movie Quotes
As Blackadder in “Blackadder”
Bills
This place stinks like a pair of armored trousers after the Hundred Years War.
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Blackadder in “Blackadder”
Odor
If you want something done properly… kill Baldrick before you start…
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Blackadder in “Blackadder”
Or what, you port-brained twerp?! I’ve looked after you all my life! Even when we were babies, I had to show you which bit of your mother was serving the drinks!
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Blackadder in “Blackadder”
Baldrick: I have a cunning plan to solve the problem.Blackadder: Yes Baldrick. Let us not forget you tried to solve the problem of your mother’s low ceiling by cutting off her head.
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Blackadder in “Blackadder”
That would be as hard as finding a piece of hay in an incredibly large stack of needles.
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Blackadder in “Blackadder”
Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you up into strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Blackadder in “Blackadder”
Baldrick, you wouldn’t see a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord, singing “Subtle Plans are Here Again!”
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Blackadder in “Blackadder”
Just do it Baldrick, or I shall further enoble you by knighting you very clumsily with this meat cleaver.
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Blackadder in “Blackadder”
This is a crisis, a large crisis. In fact… it’s a twelve-story crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeted throughout; twenty-four hour porterage and an enormous sign on the roof saying ‘This is a Large Crisis.’
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
Problems
TV/Movie Quotes
As Blackadder in “Blackadder”
Blackadder: You’re fired.
Baldrick: But I’ve been in your family since 1532!
Blackadder: So has syphilis, now get out.
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Blackadder in “Blackadder”
George: Oh, sir, just one thing – if we should happen to tread on a mine, what do we do?Blackadder: Well, normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet into the air and scatter yourself over a wide area.
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Blackadder in “Blackadder”