As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

Keyword: As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

How do I know what you said? Damn you and your noise-cancelling breasts.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

May I say Penny, not a lot of women could look as hot as you do with such greasy hair.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

Appearance TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

Sheldon, I’d kill my Rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

Love is not a sprint, it’s a marathon, a relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms… or hits you with the pepper spray.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

Love TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

{Noticing Raj peeking through someone’s window using the telescope] Oh, Raj, no. Billions of dollars have gone into inventing the Internet and filling it with pictures of naked women, so we don’t have to peep through windows.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

Howard: It was an hour ago, Sheldon. A Jew sits in front of a house in Texas for that long, for sale signs start to go up.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

Time TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

Howard: See a Penny, pick her up, and all the day, you’ll have good luck.
Penny: No, you won’t.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

Penny: Okay, help me out here. How does an archaeology professor get that good with a whip?
Howard: Maybe he took a class at the adult bookstore. That’s how I learned.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory” Of Indiana Jones

Sheldon: Amy ruined Raiders of the Lost Ark for me, so I’m trying to find something beloved of hers and ruin that.
Howard: Because her life wasn’t enough?

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

Raj: Do you believe you’re going to go to hell for eating sweet and sour pork?
Howard: Jews don’t have hell. We have acid reflux.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory” Jews

Bernadette: It didn’t help that you couldn’t walk a straight line when the cop pulled you over.
Howard: I have performance anxiety. You of all people should know that.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

Howard: She should quiet down soon. I gave her enough pain meds to choke a … well, her.
Leonard: And that didn’t bother you?
Howard: Au contraire. It meant that she was gullible and open to a little probing.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

Come on, one day this may double in value and be worth half what I paid for it!

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

Renaissance fairs aren’t about historical accuracy, they’re about taking chubby girls who work at Kinko’s and lacing them up in corsets so tight their bosoms jump out and say “Howdy”.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory” Renaissance fairs

The littlest things can set women off – like, “Hey, the waitress is hot! I bet we could get her to come home with us.” Or, “How much does your mom weigh? I want to know what I’m getting into.”

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

People TV/Movie Quotes Women As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

Sheldon: The entrance to the dungeon is a moss covered door. You manage to open it only to find yourself face-to-face with a hideous, foul-smelling, moss-covered ogre. What do you do?
Howard: I say, “Hey Ma, what’s for dinner?”

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory” Of a video game

Raj: 60 seconds. This is not looking good.
Sheldon: One minute is a long time.
Howard: I’ve been telling women that for 20 years.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

Sex TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

Howard: Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today.
Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard.
Howard: So there is a number.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

Howard: The doctor says you’ve got to get exercise.
Mrs. Wolowitz: I get plenty of exercise.
Howard: Crushing my will to live isn’t exercise!

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

Activities TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory” Exercise

Normally, I’m not turned on by big teeth, but on you they work.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

Appearance TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

Bernadette: Why can’t he take your mom? You took her to your prom.
Howard: I didn’t take her. She was a chaperone.
Bernadette: I saw a picture of you two dancing together.
Howard: Well what was I gonna do? They were playing our song.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

Categories

Additional Categories

Oops...

Some Popular Authors

Keyword: As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

How do I know what you said? Damn you and your noise-cancelling breasts.

May I say Penny, not a lot of women could look as hot as you do with such greasy hair.

Sheldon, I’d kill my Rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister.

Love is not a sprint, it’s a marathon, a relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms… or hits you with the pepper spray.

{Noticing Raj peeking through someone’s window using the telescope] Oh, Raj, no. Billions of dollars have gone into inventing the Internet and filling it with pictures of naked women, so we don’t have to peep through windows.

Howard: It was an hour ago, Sheldon. A Jew sits in front of a house in Texas for that long, for sale signs start to go up.

Howard: See a Penny, pick her up, and all the day, you’ll have good luck.
Penny: No, you won’t.

Penny: Okay, help me out here. How does an archaeology professor get that good with a whip?
Howard: Maybe he took a class at the adult bookstore. That’s how I learned.

Sheldon: Amy ruined Raiders of the Lost Ark for me, so I’m trying to find something beloved of hers and ruin that.
Howard: Because her life wasn’t enough?

Raj: Do you believe you’re going to go to hell for eating sweet and sour pork?
Howard: Jews don’t have hell. We have acid reflux.

Bernadette: It didn’t help that you couldn’t walk a straight line when the cop pulled you over.
Howard: I have performance anxiety. You of all people should know that.

Howard: She should quiet down soon. I gave her enough pain meds to choke a … well, her.
Leonard: And that didn’t bother you?
Howard: Au contraire. It meant that she was gullible and open to a little probing.

Come on, one day this may double in value and be worth half what I paid for it!

Renaissance fairs aren’t about historical accuracy, they’re about taking chubby girls who work at Kinko’s and lacing them up in corsets so tight their bosoms jump out and say “Howdy”.

The littlest things can set women off – like, “Hey, the waitress is hot! I bet we could get her to come home with us.” Or, “How much does your mom weigh? I want to know what I’m getting into.”

Sheldon: The entrance to the dungeon is a moss covered door. You manage to open it only to find yourself face-to-face with a hideous, foul-smelling, moss-covered ogre. What do you do?
Howard: I say, “Hey Ma, what’s for dinner?”

Raj: 60 seconds. This is not looking good.
Sheldon: One minute is a long time.
Howard: I’ve been telling women that for 20 years.

Howard: Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today.
Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard.
Howard: So there is a number.

Howard: The doctor says you’ve got to get exercise.
Mrs. Wolowitz: I get plenty of exercise.
Howard: Crushing my will to live isn’t exercise!

Normally, I’m not turned on by big teeth, but on you they work.

Bernadette: Why can’t he take your mom? You took her to your prom.
Howard: I didn’t take her. She was a chaperone.
Bernadette: I saw a picture of you two dancing together.
Howard: Well what was I gonna do? They were playing our song.