Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Keyword:
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
The only things we Crane boys are skilled at catching are sarcastic nuances and the occasional virus.
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
Frasier: If a child of four can ride one, (a bicycle), then so can we.
Niles: That’s what you said when we were six.
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
Things
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
Bicycles
I would gladly go but I’ve got my compulsive spending seminar and I’m hoping to unload the rest of these raffle tickets.
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
Gambing
The scariest words of my childhood were: “Your father needs your help in the basement.”
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
It’s worse than the summer we added the breakfast nook to the treehouse.
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
Sounds to me like you’ve hit the crackpot!
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
Lawyers make excellent patients; they have excellent health care and they never get better.
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
Lawyers
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
Psychiatry
They’ve found a way to bring the charm of an airport to a midtown location.
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
Someone certainly has a high opinion of their opinion.
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
Beliefs
Opinion
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
Maris and I rented the video and, I don’t mind telling you, we pushed our beds together that night! [pause] And that was no mean feat. Her room, as you know, is across the hall.
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
I know we’re allowed to see other people – my question is: how much of them are we allowed to see?
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
She’s cleared her schedule from 7:00 ‘til 7:30 – that means foreplay
and
cuddling.
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
Sex
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
Frasier: I’m having a young lady over on Friday night. I was hoping that maybe you could take Dad out for me.
Niles: Oh, I wish you’d said Saturday.
Frasier: Why? You have plans Friday?
Niles: No, I have plans Saturday.
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
Whenever you see a man who’s well groomed, you can bet he’s not getting any.
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
Sex
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
Frasier: Thanks, Niles. You are a good brother and a credit to the psychiatric profession.
Niles: You’re a good brother, too.
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
I saw a twinkle in her eye I have not seen since the neighbor children discovered our new electric fence.
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
Emotions
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
Twinkle in her eye
I really must go. I’m hosting a seminar on multiple personality disorders and it takes me forever to fill out the name tags.
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
I really must run. I’m due at my sexual addiction group, and I don’t like to leave them alone for too long.
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
Frasier: Niles, I would shave my head for you.
Niles: A gesture which becomes less significant with each passing year.
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
Appearance
Hair
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
Her lips were saying no, but her eyes were saying, “read my lips.”
David Hyde Pierce
(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Niles Crane in “Frasier”
Lips