As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation”

Keyword: As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation”

There’s only one thing I hate more than lying… skim milk… which is water that’s lying about being milk.

Nick Offerman

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter

TV/Movie Quotes As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation”

Turkey can never beat cow.

Nick Offerman

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter

Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation”

Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor.

Nick Offerman

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter

TV/Movie Quotes As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation” Capitalism

Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.

Nick Offerman

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter

Animals Dogs TV/Movie Quotes As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation”

America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other ‘cultures,’ use an atlas or a ham radio.

Nick Offerman

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter

America Places TV/Movie Quotes As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation”

There must be a mistake: you’ve accidentally given me the food my food eats.

Nick Offerman

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter

Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation” When served a plate of vegetables

Ann: Do you have any history of mental illness in your family?
Ron: I have an uncle who does yoga.

Nick Offerman

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter

TV/Movie Quotes As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation” Mental illness

There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut.

Nick Offerman

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter

Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation”

Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait…wait. I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?

Nick Offerman

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter

Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation” Bacon & eggs

Great job, everyone. The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone.

Nick Offerman

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter

TV/Movie Quotes As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation”

Straight down the middle. No hook, no spin, no fuss. Anything more and this becomes figure skating.

Nick Offerman

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter

Activities TV/Movie Quotes As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation” On bowling

Never half-ass two things; whole-ass one thing.

Nick Offerman

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter

TV/Movie Quotes As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation”

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish… and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.

Nick Offerman

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter

Activities TV/Movie Quotes As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation” Fishing

Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.

Nick Offerman

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter

Activities TV/Movie Quotes As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation” Fishing

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Keyword: As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation”

There’s only one thing I hate more than lying… skim milk… which is water that’s lying about being milk.

Turkey can never beat cow.

Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor.

Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.

America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other ‘cultures,’ use an atlas or a ham radio.

There must be a mistake: you’ve accidentally given me the food my food eats.

Ann: Do you have any history of mental illness in your family?
Ron: I have an uncle who does yoga.

There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut.

Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait…wait. I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?

Great job, everyone. The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone.

Straight down the middle. No hook, no spin, no fuss. Anything more and this becomes figure skating.

Never half-ass two things; whole-ass one thing.

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish… and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.

Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.