Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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As Rufus T. Firefly in “Duck Soup”
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you… he really is an idiot.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults
TV/Movie Quotes
As Rufus T. Firefly in “Duck Soup”
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report… run out and find me a four-year-old child, I can’t make head or tail of it.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes
As Rufus T. Firefly in “Duck Soup”
I wanted to get a writ of habeas corpus, but I should have gotten a-rid of you instead.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes
As Rufus T. Firefly in “Duck Soup”
Writ of habeas corpus
You can leave in a taxi… If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff… if that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes
As Rufus T. Firefly in “Duck Soup”
Leaving
I could dance with you until the cows come home… on second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults
TV/Movie Quotes
As Rufus T. Firefly in “Duck Soup”
Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults
TV/Movie Quotes
As Rufus T. Firefly in “Duck Soup”
Honor
Ambassador Trentino: I didn’t come here to be insulted!Rufus T. Firefly: That’s what you think!
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults
TV/Movie Quotes
As Rufus T. Firefly in “Duck Soup”
You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication
TV/Movie Quotes
As Rufus T. Firefly in “Duck Soup”
Talking
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes
As Rufus T. Firefly in “Duck Soup”
I’ve got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes
As Rufus T. Firefly in “Duck Soup”
Clubs
I’ll see you at the opera tonight. I’ll hold your seat till you get there. After you get there you’re on your own.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes
As Rufus T. Firefly in “Duck Soup”
Firefly: Not that I care, but where is your husband?
Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead.
Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Death
TV/Movie Quotes
As Rufus T. Firefly in “Duck Soup”
Married. I can see you right now in the kitchen, bending over a hot stove. But I can’t see the stove.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes
As Rufus T. Firefly in “Duck Soup”