Keyword: As The Great Man in “Never Give a Sucker an Even Break”

Never give a sucker an even break.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

[to waitress]: I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’ t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

The Great Man: [Suffering from a hangover] Somebody put too many olives in my martini last night!

Stewardess: Should I get you a Bromo?

The Great Man: No, I couldn’t stand the noise!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Cross my heart and hope to eat my weight in goslings.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Waitress: And another thing, don’t be so free with your hands.
Fields: Listen honey. I was only trying to guess your weight.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer