Keyword: Audiences

I know two kinds of audiences only – one coughing, and one not coughing.

(1882 – 1951) Austrian composer & pianist

What is this, an audience or an oil painting?

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor

The play was a great success, but the audience was a disaster.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there’s a good chance no one’s heard it before.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Always make the audience suffer as much as possible.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer

I sometimes close my eyes during a show because I have drawn a picture of an audience enjoying the show more on the back of my eyelids.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

The best audience is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician

It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf.

(1889 – 1974) American intellectual, writer, reporter & political commentator

Creator: a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

I am a typed director; if I made Cinderella, the audience would immediately be looking for a body in the coach.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer

My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

They stayed away in droves.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs; if you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer

I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw  at me.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Acting is a form of deception, and actors can mesmerize themselves almost as easily as an audience.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist