Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Keyword:
Autobiographies
An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.
Franklin Jones
(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Books
Communication
Memory
Reading/Writing
Autobiographies
Writer
I’m writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Books
Communication
Reading/Writing
Autobiographies
Autobiography is now as common as adultery and hardly less reprehensible.
John Grigg
(1924 – 2001) British writer
Books
Communication
Autobiographies
I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Books
Communication
Misspokements
Reading/Writing
Autobiographies
Whenever I see an autobiography for sale in the book store I just flip to the about the author section… I’m like, “Done, next!”
Demetri Martin
(1973 – ) American comedian
Books
Communication
Reading/Writing
Autobiographies
An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.
Quentin Crisp
(1908 – 1999) English writer
Books
Communication
Reading/Writing
Autobiographies
Obituaries