Keyword: Babies (Page 2)

Baby: Nine months interest on a small deposit.

Children Definitions Family

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Family Situations

The sun always rises in the baby's bedroom window.

Children Murphy’s Laws Situations

I don’t have any children but if I had a baby I would have to name it so I’d buy a “baby naming book” … or I would invite somebody over who had a cast on.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Books Children Family

Never hit a baby… even if they start it.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Miscellaneous

Taking care of a newborn baby means devoting yourself, body and soul, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, to the welfare of someone whose major response, in the way of positive reinforcement, is to throw up on you.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Children Family

All babies look like Renee Zellweger pushed against a glass window.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.


Situations Sleep

Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Children Family

Baby: Morning caller, noonday crawler, midnight bawler.

Children Definitions Family

A woman never wakes up her second baby just to see it smile.

Children Family

Experimenting with Babies

Book Titles Children

Any man who hates dogs and babies can’t be all bad.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Animals Dogs Men People

I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like; it was born 15 minutes ago… it looks like a potato.

(1967 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & writer
Children Family

Out of the mouths of babes comes cereal.

Children Family Wordplay

The baby is fine; the only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Insults Relationships Ugly

That’s smoother than a spanked baby’s butt

Miscellaneous

Baby: A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

(1888 – 1957) English priest & theologian
Children Family

Out of the mouth of babes… usually when you’ve got your best suit on.

Children Family

Babies awaken slightly disoriented, with a look that's half Angel and half Lost Tourist.

(1957 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Children Family

Now the thing about having a baby – and I can’t be the first person to have noticed this – is that thereafter you have it.

(1922 – 2003) author & playwright
Children Family