Keyword: Behavior

You’re acting crazier than a sprayed roach!

1. The probability of a cat eating its dinner has absolutely nothing to do with the price of the food placed before it. 2. The probability that a household pet will raise a fuss is directly proportional to the number and importance of your guests.

The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

He goes to church on Sunday, steals chickens on Monday.

If our politicians were better at pretending to get along, there wouldn’t be any war.

Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.

(1884 – 1949) American humorist & literary critic

The wages of sin are unreported.

The best way to behave is to misbehave.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Success is the result of behavior that completely contradicts the usual expectations about the behavior of a successful person.

I don’t know that my behavior has improved all that much with age; they just found someone worse.

American professional tennis player

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

There is no substitute for good manners… except, perhaps, fast reflexes.

He really grates me up the wrong way.

There are some situations from which one can only escape by acting like a devil or a lunatic.

Eric Arthur Blair (1903 – 50) English author & journalist

Act like you’ve got some raisin.

Be normal, and the crowd will accept you… be deranged, and they will make you their leader.

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor

I already know I’m going to hell, I’m just paving the road.

Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. 

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

They’re like two cats in a sack.

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will sometimes produce bizarre behavior… and I’m not talking about the kids.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor

… if the child was misbehaving, that's one thing, but if her parents were encouraging her, that's a whole new ballpark…