Keyword: Behavior

You’re acting crazier than a sprayed roach!

Miscellaneous

1. The probability of a cat eating its dinner has absolutely nothing to do with the price of the food placed before it. 2. The probability that a household pet will raise a fuss is directly proportional to the number and importance of your guests.

Animals Money Murphy’s Laws

The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Appearance Clothing

He goes to church on Sunday, steals chickens on Monday.

Beliefs Expressions Honesty

If our politicians were better at pretending to get along, there wouldn’t be any war.

Conflict Government Politicians War

Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.

(1884 – 1949) American humorist & literary critic
Characteristics

The wages of sin are unreported.

Government Taxes

The best way to behave is to misbehave.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Miscellaneous

Success is the result of behavior that completely contradicts the usual expectations about the behavior of a successful person.

Murphy’s Laws Success

I don’t know that my behavior has improved all that much with age; they just found someone worse.

American professional tennis player
Sports

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

Murphy’s Laws

There is no substitute for good manners… except, perhaps, fast reflexes.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

He really grates me up the wrong way.

Mixed metaphors

There are some situations from which one can only escape by acting like a devil or a lunatic.

Eric Arthur Blair (1903 – 50) English author & journalist
Situations

Act like you’ve got some raisin.

Miscellaneous

Be normal, and the crowd will accept you… be deranged, and they will make you their leader.

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Characteristics People

I already know I’m going to hell, I’m just paving the road.

Miscellaneous

Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. 

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Hockey Sports

They’re like two cats in a sack.

Miscellaneous

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will sometimes produce bizarre behavior… and I’m not talking about the kids.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family Old Parents

… if the child was misbehaving, that's one thing, but if her parents were encouraging her, that's a whole new ballpark…

Mixed metaphors