Keyword: Birth (Page 2)

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Family Mothers

The harsh truth is that the cause of death is birth.

(1937 – ) English painter, printmaker, stage designer & photographer
Death Life

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Appearance Family Mothers Ugly

Birth: The first and dirtiest of all disasters. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Situations

One of my uncles said that apparently at birth I snuck out… I thought maybe someone was following me.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Characteristics

When people ask me what sign I was born under, I say "I'm not certain, but it could have been the one that says 'Dining Car in opposite direction'."

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Communication People Self

Women won't even brag about [giving birth]… we men, when we fix a doorknob, drinks are on the house.

(1955 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & impressionist
Men People Speech Women

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show; when you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
America Places