Keyword: Birth (Page 2)

Prosecutor: Chicolini, when were you born?
Chicolini: I don’t-a remember. I was just a little baby.

(1887 – 1961) comedian, actor & member of the Marx Brothers
TV/Movie Quotes

Birth: The first and dirtiest of all disasters. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Situations

I understand that the doctor had to spank me when I was born, but I really don’t see any reason he had to call me a whore.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
Situations

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Mothers Self

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show; when you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
America Places

Women won't even brag about [giving birth]… we men, when we fix a doorknob, drinks are on the house.

(1955 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & impressionist
Men People Speech Women

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child; she must be found and stopped.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Children Exaggerations People Women

I was an ugly kid; when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Doctors Health