Keyword: Brains

I don’t know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan’s Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence Mind Science/Weather

If there is a substitute for brains it has to be silence.

(1874 – 1962) American politician & U.S. senator (Arizona)
Intelligence

It’s like my brain and my penis are locked in a chess match and I’m letting Him win.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
TV/Movie Quotes

I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow.

(1856 – 1924) 28th U.S. president & politician
Intelligence People Self

The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Autos Driving Intelligence Things

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Situations Sports

You’ve got the brain of a four year old boy… and I’ll bet he was glad to get rid of it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Intelligence

Brains, you know, are suspect in the Republican Party.

(1889 – 1974) American intellectual, writer, reporter & political commentator
Government Intelligence Politicians

Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Intelligence Language

My grandmother’s brain was dead, but her heart was still beating; it was the first time we ever had a Democrat in the family.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Government Politics

They finally found one.

British ski jumper
People Self

If brains were all that important in a beauty contest, you could enter wearing a Hefty Bag.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Appearance Body Intelligence

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

(1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer
Communication Speech Time

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working when you get up in the morning, and doesn't stop until you get into office.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Government Intelligence Work

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Characteristics Intelligence

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
God Men People Things

People who don’t think probably don’t have brains; rather, they have gray fluff that’s blown into their heads by mistake.

fictional character from the book series by A. A. Milne
Intelligence Thinking

Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.

author
Alcohol Food/Drink Science/Weather

His brain rolls around in his head like a mustard seed in a five gallon bucket.

Miscellaneous

His brain is a half-inch layer of champagne poured over a bucket of Methodist near-beer.

(1873 – 1945) journalist & author
Alcohol Insults Intelligence

Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Intelligence Love People Women