Keyword: Britain

You’re probably aware that Britain stopped evolving gastronomically around the year 1242.

(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host

In a British hotel, the words “Can I help you sir?” mean roughly: “What the hell do you want?”

(1922 – 1995) English novelist & poet

I asked the barmaid for a quickie; the man next to me said, 'It's pronounced quiche.'


England is the only country in the world where the food is more dangerous than the sex.

(1934 – ) comedian

I want to succeed in America where, unlike Britain, they do not regard ambition as being the same as eating babies.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor

The best research [for playing a drunk] is being a British actor for 20 years.

(1933 – ) English actor

Britons put up with, Americans fix, while Canadians cope.

(1901 – 1978) anthropologist

British people would die for their right to drink themselves to death.

(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host

Canadians have been so busy explaining to the Americans that we aren't British, and to the British that we aren't Americans that we haven't had time to become Canadians.

Canadian writer & speaker