Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Saturday, March 29, 2025
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Keyword:
Celebrity
(Page 2)
Today’s public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can’t read them either.
Gore Vidal
(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Communication
Reading/Writing
Speech
Success
Celebrity
Public figures
When someone follows you all the way to the shop and watches you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.
Jennifer Aniston
(1969 – ) American actress, film director & producer
Life
Success
Celebrity
Toilet paper
A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
People
Success
Celebrity
I’m kind of jealous of the life I’m supposedly leading.
Zach Braff
(1975 – ) actor, director, screenwriter & producer
Life
Success
Celebrity
Jealousy
There are two types of actors: those who say they want to be famous and those who are liars.
Kevin Bacon
(1958 – ) American film & theater actor
Characteristics
Honesty
Success
Actors
Celebrity
Fame
Liars
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Jane Wagner
(1935 – ) screenwriter, author, director & producer
Success
Celebrity
Specific
Why should I have become elevated to a position of first-page importance merely because I am somewhat more dexterous than most in manipulating a contrivance of catgut and wood which is commonly called a tennis racquet?
Mary K. Brown
first American female professional tennis player
Sports
Success
Celebrity
Tennis
Tennis racquet
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Success
Celebrity
Authors want their names down in history; I want to keep the smoke coming out of the chimney.
Mickey Spillane
(1918 – 2006) American writer
Money
Success
Work
Celebrity
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Napoleon Bonaparte
(1769 – 1821) French general & politician
Success
Time
Celebrity
Glory
I don't want to get so famous to where the guy who shoots me becomes famous.
Michael ‘Geechy Guy’ Cathers
(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Conflict
Killing
Success
Celebrity
No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.
Michael Pritchard
comedian, counselor & speaker
Death
Science/Weather
Success
Wealth
Celebrity
Give me two years, and I'll make her an overnight star.
Harry Cohn
(1891 – 1958) American president of Columbia Pictures & producer
Success
Time
Celebrity
Overnight star
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for a star.
Fred Allen
(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Hollywood
Places
Success
Celebrity
Iowa
Fame means absolutely nothing except a good table at a restaurant.
Eileen Atkins
(1934 – ) English actress & occasional screenwriter
Success
Celebrity
Fame
People seldom become famous for what they say until after they are famous for what they've done.
Cullen Hightower
(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
People
Speech
Success
Accomplishments
Celebrity
I want to be a diva… like people-totally-respect-my-music diva, not diva like carry-my-Diet-Coke-around.
Jessica Simpson
(1980 – ) American singer
Music
Success
Celebrity
Diva
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen
(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
People
Success
Celebrity
Sunglasses
Success for some people, depends on becoming well-known; for others, it depends on never being found out.
Ashleigh Brilliant
(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Success
Celebrity
The final test of fame is to have a crazy person imagine he is you.
Mel Brooks
(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Success
Celebrity
Sanity
The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."
Johnny Carson
(1925 – 2005) television host
Hollywood
Places
Success
Celebrity
Tradition
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