Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Keyword:
Celebrity
(Page 2)
When someone follows you all the way to the shop and watches you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.
Jennifer Aniston
(1969 – ) American actress, film director & producer
Life
Success
Celebrity
Toilet paper
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault.
Henry Kissinger
(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Characteristics
Success
Boredom
Celebrity
No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.
Michael Pritchard
comedian, counselor & speaker
Death
Science/Weather
Success
Wealth
Celebrity
A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services.
Daniel J. Boorstin
(1914 – ) historian
Money
Success
Celebrity
Worth
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Jane Wagner
(1935 – ) screenwriter, author, director & producer
Success
Celebrity
Specific
I’m kind of jealous of the life I’m supposedly leading.
Zach Braff
(1975 – ) actor, director, screenwriter & producer
Life
Success
Celebrity
Jealousy
Celebrity: A person whose name is in everything but the telephone book.
Anonymous
Definitions
Celebrity
Jack Benny's ability on the violin was legendary; everybody knew he had none.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment
Music
Success
Things
Ability
Celebrity
Violin
People seldom become famous for what they say until after they are famous for what they've done.
Cullen Hightower
(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
People
Speech
Success
Accomplishments
Celebrity
Fame loses a little of its cache when you have to tell people that you have it.
Russell Brand
(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer
Communication
Speech
Success
Celebrity
The best fame is a writer’s fame: it’s enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough that you get interrupted when you eat.
Fran Lebowitz
(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Success
Celebrity
Fame
It’s a little like wrestling a gorilla; you don’t quit when you’re tired—you quit when the gorilla is tired.
Robert Strauss
(1913 – 1975) American actor
Success
Celebrity
Fame
I don't want to get so famous to where the guy who shoots me becomes famous.
Michael ‘Geechy Guy’ Cathers
(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Conflict
Killing
Success
Celebrity
Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
Fran Lebowitz
(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Success
Andy Warhol
Celebrity
I performed for the U.S. troops in Guantanamo Bay, and signed autographs for people who’ve been gone from America for so long they didn’t realize that I’m not famous.
Mike Birbiglia
(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Success
Celebrity
Fame
There are two types of actors: those who say they want to be famous and those who are liars.
Kevin Bacon
(1958 – ) American film & theater actor
Characteristics
Honesty
Success
Actors
Celebrity
Fame
Liars
Today’s public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can’t read them either.
Gore Vidal
(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Communication
Reading/Writing
Speech
Success
Celebrity
Public figures
L.A. is so celebrity-conscious, there's a restaurant that only serves Jack Nicholson – and when he shows up, they tell him there'll be a ten-minute wait.
Bill Maher
(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Places
Success
Celebrity
Jack Nicholson
Los Angeles
Restaurants
The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."
Johnny Carson
(1925 – 2005) television host
Hollywood
Places
Success
Celebrity
Tradition
Being a star has made it possible for me to get insulted in places where the average Negro could never hope to go and get insulted.
Sammy Davis Jr.
(1925 – 1990) American entertainer
Characteristics
Insults
People
Success
Celebrity
Racism
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for a star.
Fred Allen
(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Hollywood
Places
Success
Celebrity
Iowa
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