Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Keyword:
Charity
Over a fifteen-year period Jack raised almost $6,000,000 for the benefit of classical music; of course, a lot of people claimed that that was his way of paying for the damage he'd caused it.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment
Music
Charity
Jack Benny
I went to a pizzeria, I ordered a slice of pizza, the f**ker gave me the smallest slice possible; if the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the f**ker gave me the “donate it to charity” slice.
Mitch Hedberg
(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink
Charity
Pizza
I saw a charity appeal in The Guardian the other day, and it read, ‘Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water.’ … and I couldn’t help thinking, ‘she should move.
Jimmy Carr
(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Situations
Charity
I’ve got a kid in Africa that I feed, that I clothe, that I school, that I inoculate for 75 cents a day… which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there.
Anthony Jeselnik
(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
People
Charity
Charity begins at home… at about 6:30, when they call you and interrupt your dinner.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Charity
Telemarketers