Keyword: Childhood

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection; my Yo-Yo… it never came back!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Things

Childhood: The rapidly shrinking interval between infancy and first arrest on a drug or weapons charge.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Even when I was a kid, my imaginary friend would play with the kid across the street.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Age Friends People Self

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older… little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman—stuff you pay good money for in later life.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Age Life Sex

I was an altar boy as a kid… and the answer is no.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Beliefs

There are three terrible ages of childhood – 1 to 10, 10 to 20, and 20 to 30.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Age People Young

If growing up in the ’80s taught me one thing, it’s that my friends and I should have found a treasure map by now.


Miscellaneous

I'm a little kid; I'm gone 12, 13, 14 hours… I don't remember anybody coming looking for me… no Amber Alert goes off.

American comedian
Age Young

I had everything a kid could want: two square meals a day, a basket to sleep in, and an imaginary dog.

(1949 – ) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
Life

Four of us slept in the one bed; when it got cold, mother threw on another brother.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Cold People Self

I was not a particularly small child; I was the one who always got picked to play Bethlehem in the school nativity.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Appearance Body

I was born at the age of twelve on a Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer lot.

(1922 – 1969) American singer & actor
Entertainment People Self

My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.

(1927 – ) American comedian
Education School

We used to write essays like: “What I'm going to be if I grow up.”

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Places

I grew up… in a house filled with love… my cousin lived there and she put out.

(1950 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, writer, singer & producer
Relationships Sex

I was raised as an only child… which really annoyed my sister.

British comedian
Children Family

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own parenthood, but it didn’t because parenting can be learned only by people who have no children.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family People

I was so poor growing up if I wasn’t a boy, I’d have had nothing to play with.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Poverty

Growing up Jewish was a little different; some of the other kids in my neighborhood had diaries; I had a ledger… where I recorded how many diaries I sold to the other kids.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
People Self

When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults and they enter society, one of the politer names of hell.

(1925 – ) English writer & editor
Age Young

What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Fathers