Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Keyword:
Cleanliness
Show me a man who lives alone and has a perpetually clean kitchen, and 8 times out of 9 I’ll show you a man with detestable spiritual qualities.
Charles Bukowski
(1920 – 1994) German-born author & poet
Beliefs
Housework
Cleanliness
Faith
The only thing I liked about camping was the fact that you can be drunk and have dirty feet, and you still had a pretty good chance of hooking up.
Andi Smith
comedian
Activities
Sex
Camping
Cleanliness
Apparently, when they say ‘peace and love,’ what they really mean is ‘filthy and annoying.’
Louis Katz
stand-up comedian
People
Cleanliness
Hippies
You’re welcome to take a bath; you look like the second week of the garbage strike.
Neil Simon
(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
Appearance
Baths
Cleanliness
From “The Gingerbread Lady”
Cleanliness is next to impossible.
O'Reilly's Law of the Kitchen
Murphy’s Laws
Cleanliness
There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
Erma Bombeck
(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Family
Mothers
Cleanliness