Keyword: Coffee

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Food/Drink

If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup.

(1927 – ) American comedian
Situations

English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
England Food/Drink Places

I never drink coffee at lunch, I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Food/Drink Situations Sleep

Another pot of coffee, waiter, and bring it under your arm to keep it warm.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Food/Drink

Coffee isn’t my cup of tea.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Food/Drink Misspokements

Coffee in England always tastes like a chemistry experiment.

(1890 – 1976) British crime writer of novels, short stories & plays
England Food/Drink Places

In Seattle you haven’t had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it’s running.

(1964 – ) American founder, president, CEO & chairman of Amazon
Food/Drink Places

It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Health

Is it impossible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee in this country any more?

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director
Food/Drink

Coffee: Break fluid.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

That coffee's strong enough to float an iron spoon.

Miscellaneous