Keyword: College

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

(1974 – ) American comedian
Education School

I was the only black in every class; hard to be absent.

(1969 – ) American comedian & actor
Education

College was like a four-year game show called “Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need to Go to Sleep?”

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Education School

With one or two exceptions, colleges expect their players of games to be reasonably literate.

(1898 – 1971) English classical scholar & academic
Education School Sports

College is great; it’s the only time in life where you can write a check for 39 cents… and bounce it.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Education Money Poverty

College: A fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink.

Definitions Education School

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Education Marriage School

I stopped telling people I didn't attend college when it suddenly dawned on me that no one was particularly surprised.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Education School

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

(1941 – ) American singer & songwriter
Death Education School

Thornton Melon: Boy, what a great-looking place. When I used to dream about going to college, this is the way I always pictured it.
Jason Melon: Wait a minute. When did you dream about going to college?
Melon: When I used to fall asleep in high school.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Education TV/Movie Quotes

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Education Money School

I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts – Do You Want Fries With That?

Education Signs

Colleges spend more money on the promotion of the Heisman than the Pentagon spends on toilets.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Education Football Sports