Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Sunday, March 30, 2025
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Keyword:
Criticism
(Page 4)
If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim.”
Lyndon Johnson
(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Communication
(also Margaret Thatcher)
Criticism
Potomac River
Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it's because I'm not a bitch; maybe that's why Miss Crawford always plays ladies.
Bette Davis
(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Entertainment
Film
Insults
Bitches
Criticism
Joan Crawford
Long experience has taught me that to be criticized is not always to be wrong.
Anthony Eden
(1897 – 1977) British politician & Prime Minister
Reviews/Criticism
Criticism
Never mind, dear, we're all made the same, though some more than others.
Noel Coward
(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
People
Criticism
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Harrison's Postulate
Beliefs
Murphy’s Laws
Opinion
Criticism
Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.
Hull's Warning
Communication
Insults
Murphy’s Laws
Criticism
Trouble
When your head is in the bear's mouth, it is not the time to be smacking him on the nose.
Anonymous
Communication
Problems
Criticism
Trouble
Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger.
Franklin Jones
(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Beliefs
Opinion
Criticism
I have derived continued benefit from criticism at all periods of my life and I do not remember any time when I was ever short of it.
Winston Churchill
(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Beliefs
Criticism
If people don't sit at Chaplin's feet, he goes out and stands where they are sitting.
Herman J. Mankiewicz
(1897 – 1953) American writer & producer
Communication
Charlie Chaplin
Criticism
Sure, 90% of science fiction is crud; that's because 90% of everything is crud.
Theodore Sturgeon
(1918 – 1985) science fiction author
Books
Insults
Reading/Writing
Criticism
The gods bestowed on Max [Beerbohm] the gift of perpetual old age.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Age
Insults
Old
Criticism
Another pot of coffee, waiter, and bring it under your arm to keep it warm.
Wilson Mizner
(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Food/Drink
Coffee
Criticism
Temperature
He is a man of his most recent word.
William F. Buckley
(1925 – 2008) American conservative author, commentator & television host
Beliefs
Communication
Opinion
Criticism
On Lyndon Johnson
I have never found, in a long experience of politics, that criticism is ever inhibited by ignorance.
Harold Macmillan
(1894 – 1986) British prime minister
Communication
Intelligence
Politicians
Criticism
The freedom of the press works in such a way that there is not much freedom from it.
Grace Kelly
(1929 – 1982) American actress & princess of Monaco
Communication
Speech
Criticism
Freedom
The press
I just got out of the hospital… I had my mother removed from my back.
Larry Amoros
comedian & television writer
Beliefs
Family
Mothers
Travel
Criticism
I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.
Abe Lemons
(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Communication
Criticism
Mistletoe
About as modest as Mussolini.
David Crosby
(1941 – ) American singer & songwriter
Communication
Criticism
Singer Joni Mitchell
It's high time the press finally got one thing right about me.
Chris Evert
(1954 – ) American professional tennis player
Appearance
Body
Communication
Criticism
On a publication proclaiming she "has the best boobs in the business.”
Actress Mary Anderson: Mr. Hitchcock, what do you think is my best side?
Hitchcock: My dear, you're sitting on it.
Alfred Hitchcock
(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Appearance
Insults
Criticism
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