Keyword: Democrats

The difference between Democrats and Republicans?… Democrats remind us that life is unfair, and Republicans make sure it is.

American comedian & writer

All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

What is the difference between a Democrat and a Republican?… a Democrat blows; a Republican sucks.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

The general rule is that a democratic politician had better not be right too soon.

(1889 – 1974) American intellectual, writer, reporter & political commentator

A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician

I'd sooner share my toothbrush with a Democrat.

(1942 – ) American actor, director, & musician

All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

My grandmother’s brain was dead, but her heart was still beating; it was the first time we ever had a Democrat in the family.

(1956 – ) American comedian

Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the Democrats believe every day is April 15.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor

Republicans elect stupid leaders with brilliant staffs and Democrats produce brilliant presidents with stupid staffs.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

It takes nerve to be a Democrat, but it takes money to be a Republican.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers; what I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

I belong to no organized party… I am a Democrat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

I will make a bargain with the Republicans; if they will stop telling lies about Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician

A Republican stands up in Congress and says I’ve got a really bad idea!' and the Democrat stands up after him and says 'and I can make it shittier!”

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

The Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem; they're all running for the presidency.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

It's hard for the donkeys to win the race if they're going to carry the elephants on their backs.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author

You get fifteen Democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions.

(1940 – ) U.S. senator (Vermont)