Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Keyword:
Distance
It’s not too far; it just seems like it is.
‘Yogi' Berra
(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Yogi-isms
Distance
The better the four-wheel drive, the further away you'll be when you get stuck.
Nelson's Law
Autos
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Distance
Four-wheel drive
The farther away from the entrance that you have to park, the closer the space vacated by the car that pulls away as you walk up to the door.
Berson's Corollary of Inverse Distances
Autos
Murphy’s Laws
Distance
Parking
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.
Dr. Laurence J. Peter
(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
People
Compromise
Distance
Halfway
The remaining distance to your chosen campsite remains constant as twilight approaches.
Barber's Third Law of Backpacking
Activities
Murphy’s Laws
Science/Weather
Backpacking
Campsites
Distance
When you drop coins, the pennies will fall nearby, while all the others will roll out of sight.
Anonymous Murphy’s Law
Murphy’s Laws
Coins
Distance
Distant relatives are the best kind, and the further the better.
Frank ‘Kin’ Hubbard
(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Family
Science/Weather
Distance
Relatives
Close distance
Oxymoron
Oxymorons
Distance
The splendor of an editor's speech and the splendor of his newspaper are inversely related to the distance between the city in which he makes his speech and the city in which he publishes his paper.
Bagdikian's Law of Editor's Speeches
Communication
Murphy’s Laws
Places
Reading/Writing
Speech
Distance
Those who live closest arrive latest.
Law of Arrival
Activities
Murphy’s Laws
Time
Travel
Distance
Late
Far-away talent always seems better than home-developed talent.
Hunter's Theory of Personnel Recruitment
Murphy’s Laws
People
Distance
Talent
I can still enjoy sex at 74; I live at 75, so it's no distance.
Bob Monkhouse
(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Age
Emotions
Sex
Distance
Everything
is just out of reach.
Wright's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Distance
Jonathan Wright
Proximity
Space isn’t remote at all; it’s only an hours drive away if your car could go straight upwards.
Fred Hoyle
(1915 – 2001) English astronomer & mathematician
Science/Weather
Distance
Space
Far-away talent always seems better than home-developed talent.
Loftus's Theory on Personnel Recruitment
Murphy’s Laws
People
Distance
Talent
When traveling with children… at least one child of any number of children will request a rest room stop exactly halfway between any two given rest areas.
Cripp's Law
Activities
Children
Family
Murphy’s Laws
Travel
Distance
Rest stop
The probability of arriving at the job site without a needed tool or with the wrong hardware are directly proportional with the square of the travel distance.
Corollary: You will always have what you need when the job is next to your shop.
Repairman's Laws
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Work
Distance
Tools
The distance to the gate from which your flight departs is inversely proportional to the time remaining before the scheduled departure of the flight.
Mills's Law of Transportation Logistics
Activities
Murphy’s Laws
Time
Travel
Airplanes
Distance
A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.
Issawi's Law of the Path of Progress
Murphy’s Laws
Distance
Shortcuts