Keyword: From Owen Elliott’s Aunt Emmie

A clever remark is one you don’t make at the appropriate moment but compose immediately after.

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

A pair of scissors should be a true pair; the second pair is to be used in place of the pair that is never where it is always supposed to be.

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

A clever remark is one you don’t make at the appropriate moment, but compose immediately after.

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

A pair of scissors should be a true pair; the second pair is to be used in place of the pair that is never where it is always supposed to be.