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A clever remark is one you don’t make at the appropriate moment but compose immediately after.

Aunt Emmie’s Second Law

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech From Owen Elliott’s Aunt Emmie

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Aunt Emmie’s First Law

Murphy’s Laws From Owen Elliott’s Aunt Emmie Smoking

A pair of scissors should be a true pair; the second pair is to be used in place of the pair that is never where it is always supposed to be.

Aunt Emmie’s Third Law

Murphy’s Laws Things From Owen Elliott’s Aunt Emmie Scissors

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Aunt Emmie’s First Law

Murphy’s Laws Cigarette From Owen Elliott’s Aunt Emmie

A clever remark is one you don’t make at the appropriate moment, but compose immediately after.

Aunt Emmie’s Second Law

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech From Owen Elliott’s Aunt Emmie

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Aunt Emmie’s First Law

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems Things Cigarette From Owen Elliott’s Aunt Emmie

A pair of scissors should be a true pair; the second pair is to be used in place of the pair that is never where it is always supposed to be.

Aunt Emmie’s Third Law

Murphy’s Laws Things From Owen Elliott’s Aunt Emmie Scissors