Keyword: George W. Bush

Last week North Korea publicly admitted for the first time it has nuclear weapons; the Bush administration has so far shown very little concern, as the North Korean missiles are believed only capable of reaching the Blue States.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

The only reason we're not in Iran now is because we're going alphabetically and George Bush can't spell.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality

This weekend President Bush gave a speech honoring Abraham Lincoln’s birthday.  There was an awkward moment when Bush referred to Lincoln as “the guy who invented the penny.”

(1963 – ) television host & comedian

Poor George [Bush], he can't help it; he was born with a silver foot in his mouth.

(1933 – 2006) politician

As I understand President Bush's Medicare plan, it provides for unlimited coverage for anyone over 72 whose parents can pass the physical.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian

At the dedication of his Presidential Library, George W. Bush said it’s long been his dream to build a building for teenagers to drink behind.

(1973 – ) American comedian, actor & television host

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.

(1930 – ) actor, writer, film & television director

His big thing now is we’ve got to get these evildoers… sounds like we’re living in a giant episode of ‘Scooby Doo.’

(1973 – ) American stand-up comedian

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug – the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

Overall Bush's European trip has been an overwhelming success. Not once has he gotten separated from his group.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

One thing I can say about George… he may not be able to keep a job, but he’s not boring.

(1925 – 2018) U.S. first lady, wife of George H. W. Bush

U2 lead singer Bono met with President Bush at the White House this week. Bono urged the president to help the world’s poor; Bush urged Bono to get back with Cher.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer

Yesterday, the President met with a group he calls the coalition-of-the-willing; or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

When the president, during the campaign, said he was against nation building, I didn't realize he meant our nation.

(1951 – ) U.S. senator (Minnesota), political commentator, comedian & writer

President Bush’s speech writer is leaving the administration; his last words were, "Me go now."

(1963 – ) television host & comedian

He’s like the first guy, like, from my reading level, you know — the first guy, like, from my math class to finally go out and do something!

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian

If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on George Bush's head.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author

The only difference between Bush and Hitler is that Hitler was elected.

(1922 – 2007) American novelist

Ever notice that George Bush doesn't speak when Dick Cheney is drinking water?

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

[George W.] Bush doesn’t know the names of countries, he doesn’t know the names of foreign leaders, he can’t even find the Earth on a globe.

(1956 – ) American comedian

He's a man who was a failure until he was 40 years old, which looks really good on your resume – if you're a comic.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright