Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Monday, December 30, 2024
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Keyword:
George W. Bush
(Page 2)
As I understand President Bush's Medicare plan, it provides for unlimited coverage for anyone over 72 whose parents can pass the physical.
Mark Russell
(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Age
Government
Health
Old
George W. Bush
Medicare
He’s like the first guy, like, from my reading level, you know — the first guy, like, from my math class to finally go out and do something!
Bill Burr
(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Education
Success
George W. Bush
Peers
The only difference between Bush and Hitler is that Hitler was elected.
Kurt Vonnegut
(1922 – 2007) American novelist
Elections/Voting
Government
George W. Bush
Hitler
When the president, during the campaign, said he was against nation building, I didn't realize he meant our nation.
Al Franken
(1951 – ) U.S. senator (Minnesota), political commentator, comedian & writer
Government
President
George W. Bush
Nation building
The man has a 70% approval rate, which makes sense to me because he's pretty much done everything I expected him to do: the economy's in the toilet, we're at war and everything's on fire.
Wanda Sykes
(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
People
Problems
George W. Bush
It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth.
Bill Hicks
(1961 – 1994) comedian
Beliefs
Government
Opinion
Politics
President
George W. Bush
Satan
Ever notice that George Bush doesn't speak when Dick Cheney is drinking water?
Robin Williams
(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Communication
People
Dick Cheney
George W. Bush
Ventriloquism
He's a man who was a failure until he was 40 years old, which looks really good on your resume – if you're a comic.
Lewis Black
(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Failure
Problems
George W. Bush
If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on George Bush's head.
Jim Hightower
(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Insults
Intelligence
Money
George W. Bush
Oil
Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug – the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.
Bill Maher
(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Elections/Voting
Emotions
Government
George W. Bush
Tickle Me Elmo
Voting
This weekend President Bush gave a speech honoring Abraham Lincoln’s birthday. There was an awkward moment when Bush referred to Lincoln as “the guy who invented the penny.”
Conan O'Brien
(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Intelligence
People
Abraham Lincoln
George W. Bush
His big thing now is we’ve got to get these evildoers… sounds like we’re living in a giant episode of ‘Scooby Doo.’
Charlie Viracola
(1973 – ) American stand-up comedian
People
Evil
George W. Bush
Scooby Doo
Overall Bush's European trip has been an overwhelming success. Not once has he gotten separated from his group.
David Letterman
(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Intelligence
People
George W. Bush
President Bush has just one question for the American voters: is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were 4 years ago?
Jay Leno
(1950 – ) comedian & television host
America
Money
Economy
George W. Bush
Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.
Conan O'Brien
(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Government
Language
Politicians
Arnold Schwarzenegger
George W. Bush
As you know President Bush is on a tour of Europe; he says he's hoping to see the whole country.
Jay Leno
(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Insults
Places
George W. Bush
You know, if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.
Jon Stewart
(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Money
9/11
Bin Laden
George W. Bush
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