Keyword: Grandmothers

The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.

(John Bloom) (1953 – ) American film critic, writer & actor

Remember the old days?… grandma died — you brought her in the backyard, and you buried her… tract housing ruined that.

television executive & comedian

My grandmother buried three husbands… and two of them were only napping.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

My grandma always says that she never gets any phone calls; so, for her birthday, I put one of those ‘How’s my driving?’ bumper stickers on her car.

comedian

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother – you’re not sure what you’ve got but you’re pretty sure you’re not going to like it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

We had to pull the plug on my grandmother ’cause I needed the outlet for my laptop.

(1981 – ) American comedian, writer & actor

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist

My grandmother died having sex… I still cry every time I watch the video.

(Uncle Lar) American comedian