Keyword: Guilt

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Memory Proverbs

Jews can't serve on juries because they insist they're guilty.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Characteristics Law

In Scotland we have a verdict ‘not proven;’ that means ‘not guilty, but don’t do it again.’

Law Places

Religion is basically guilt with different holidays.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Beliefs Religion

My goal this year is to make love being naked.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Sex

Hey, hey, hey. Come on. I know what guilt is. It’s one of those touchy-feely words that people throw around that don’t really mean anything… You know, like “maternal” or “addiction.”

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
TV/Movie Quotes

If you're gonna see a play about slavery, it's important that you watch it with your white friends because you know they're gonna pick up dinner that night.

American stand-up comedian
Entertainment People

Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilty, and I’ll show you a man.

(1942 – ) American author and teacher
People Women

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist Cathy
Emotions Food/Drink Love Mothers Work

If I have an orgasm, I feel that I have to give six weeks of community service to various charities.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Sex

The case has been going on for so long that I've forgotten whether I'm really innocent or guilty.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Government Law

… it was a Jewish porno film… one minute of sex and nine minutes of guilt.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Characteristics People

When we played softball, I’d steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics Sports

In this country you’re guilty until proven wealthy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
America Government Law Money Wealth

There’s only one difference between Catholics and Jews; Jews are born with guilt, and Catholics have to go to school to learn it.

(1952 – ) comedian
Beliefs Characteristics People Religion

Scooter Libby was found guilty of perjury, obstruction, and making false statements… or, as the White House calls it, a press conference.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Crime Government Law

My mother could make anybody feel guilty – she used to get letters of apology from people she didn’t even know.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Characteristics Family Mothers

Guilt: The gift that keeps on giving.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Characteristics Definitions

If I have an orgasm, I feel that I have to give six weeks of community service to various charities.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities Characteristics Sex

The only reason I feel guilty about masturbation is because I do it so badly.

(1942 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, writer, director & author
Sex