Keyword: Heaven

Good girls go to heaven; bad girls go everywhere else.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Communication Wordplay

Heaven: The Coney Island of the Christian imagination.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Beliefs Religion

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs

A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Places

Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Sex

When I die, I hope to go to heaven… whatever the hell that is.

(1905 – 1982) Russian-American novelist, playwright & philosopher
Death

Umpire's heaven is a place where he works third base every game; home is where the heartache is.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die.

(1914 – 1981) American boxing champion
Death

I hope God speaks English; if I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Beliefs Communication Eating God Language

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
People Work

In heaven all the interesting people are missing.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
People Places

Heaven goes by favor; for if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Beliefs Characteristics Dogs