Keyword: Homosexuals

My cousin is gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Places Sex

My idea of gambling was walking through Central Park, whistling show tunes.

(1939 – ) American actor, dancer, singer, producer & choreographer
Activities

Martina was so far in the closet she was in danger of being a garment bag.

1944) is an American writer & screenwriter
People Sex

My cousin is gay; in school while other kids were dissecting frogs, he was opening flies.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Sex

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war… just a greater emphasis on military apparel.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Clothing Conflict Government Military War

You could move.

(1918 – ) American advice columnist
People

My cousin is gay; I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Relationships

Gay people should be allowed to get married; just because somebody’s gay doesn’t mean he shouldn’t suffer like the rest of us.

comedian
Marriage

It’s a lot easier being black than gay; at least if you’re black you don’t have to tell.

American comedian & motivational speaker
People

We had our family tree done… turns out I'm a quarter gay on my father's side.

(1966 – ) American actor, musician & comedian
Relationships

I don’t think I could be gay… I just don’t have it in me.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
People Self

Checkers taught me that a King is a man with another man on top of him, but life taught me that that's actually called a Queen.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Games

It’s better to be black than gay, because when you’re black you don’t have to tell your mother.

(1926 – 1999) actor, comedian & female impersonator
Family Mothers

I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn’t enough.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
People Self

Homosexuality is God’s way of ensuring that the truly gifted aren’t burdened with children.

comedian, composer & lyricist
Characteristics Children Intelligence People

A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Things

If Michaelangelo had been a heterosexual, the Sistine Chapel would have been painted basic white and with a roller.

1944) is an American writer & screenwriter
Characteristics Entertainment

I first suspected that my father was gay when I asked him to pick a number between one and ten, and he was all, ‘I’m gay.’

(1978 – ) American actor, comedian & writer
Family Fathers

It’s better to be black than gay because when you’re black you don’t have to tell your mother.

comedian, composer & lyricist
Appearance Characteristics Mothers

They’re the only couples you’ll ever find poking around for ceramics and candle holders in the winery gift shop and both parties really want to be there.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
People

We have no gay people in Russia; there are homosexuals but they are not allowed to be gay about it.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Places