Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Keyword:
In “Monkey Business”
Oh, I know it's a penny here and a penny there, but look at me. I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes
In “Monkey Business”
Sir, are you trying to offer me a bribe? … How much?
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes
Bribes
In “Monkey Business”
Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults
TV/Movie Quotes
In “Monkey Business”
Introductions
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I’m hot under the collar.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Activities
TV/Movie Quotes
In “Monkey Business”
Parties
Don't point that beard at me, it might go off.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes
Beard
In “Monkey Business”
Waiter: Would you like to have anything before lunch?Chico: Yes, breakfast.
‘Chico’ Marx
(1887 – 1961) comedian, actor & member of the Marx Brothers
Eating
Food/Drink
TV/Movie Quotes
In “Monkey Business”
My grandfather’s great… he’s a great-grandfather.
‘Chico’ Marx
(1887 – 1961) comedian, actor & member of the Marx Brothers
TV/Movie Quotes
Grandfathers
In “Monkey Business”
I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me. [He suddenly grabs her and pulls her down onto a couch]
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes
Attraction
In “Monkey Business”
Oh, why can’t we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean… flee to my lodge in the hills.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes
In “Monkey Business”
Madame Swempski: I don’t like this innuendo.
Groucho: That’s what I always say: love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes
In “Monkey Business”
Innuendo
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid?
You bet I'm afraid!
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes
In “Monkey Business”
Is it true you used to dance in a flea circus?
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults
TV/Movie Quotes
In “Monkey Business”
With a little study you’ll go a long ways… and I wish you’d start now.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes
In “Monkey Business”
You’re just wasting your breath, and that’s no great loss either.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes
In “Monkey Business”