Keyword: Injuries

Women and elephants never forget an injury.

I grabbed it and squeezed it back into place. It gave a little crunch and popped right in.

Canadian hockey player

Injuries above the neck don’t count.

Australian football coach

Fortunately, Paul Scholes’ injury wasn’t as bad as we’d hoped for.

English football player & analyst

I wouldn’t ever set out to hurt anybody deliberately unless it was, you know, important – like a league game or something.

professional football player

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.

(1973 – ) American comedian

Bill Walton is incredible; if you drop a toothpick on his foot, he'll have a stress fracture.

American basketball coach

(Bruce) Benedict may not be hurt as much as he really is.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead.

And he’s got the icepack on his groin there, so it’s possibly not the old shoulder injury.

English rugby player & commentator

While playing golf today I hit two good balls… I stepped on a rake.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian

The seriousness of a wound (in a firefight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.

In my time, I've had my knee out, broken my collarbone, had my nose smashed, a rib broken, lost a few teeth, and ricked my back; but as soon as I get a bit of bad luck I'm going to quit the game.

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.

(1973 – ) American comedian

If I get run into again, I'm taking someone with me. I lost one knee. I'll take a head if it happens again.

Canadian hockey goaltender

A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

They’ve taken the foot off Johnny Grubb… uh, they’ve taken the shoe off Johnny Grubb.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

This type of injury is very painful. Especially when it hurts.

Canadian hockey coach