Keyword: Jewish

… it was a Jewish porno film… one minute of sex and nine minutes of guilt.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on Saturday and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on Saturday.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

My mom’s Jewish and my dad’s Irish Catholic alcoholic, so I whine on the inside.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer

I'm Jewish and Italian, and I lucked out and got the nose of both cultures.

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian, actress & writer

Growing up Jewish was a little different; some of the other kids in my neighborhood had diaries; I had a ledger… where I recorded how many diaries I sold to the other kids.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer

I’m half Scottish and half Jewish, so don’t ask me for money.

(1960 – ) American actor, writer & director

What’s a Jewish mobster?… ‘I’m going to break the legs of your therapist.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor

My wife and I did the Jewish divorce custom where we took a broken glass and we put it back together.

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian

Do you know why kosher meat is way more expensive? … Jewish animals are better negotiators.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer

If you really are superior, you don't go around saying you're superior – unless you're Jewish.

Canadian-American comedian & writer

My friend Phil was brought up Orthodox Jewish… he actually thought the New Testament was the paperback version of the Old Testament.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger

I’m not only Iranian, I’m also Jewish, and I know what you’re thinking… you’re thinking, ‘Wow, he’s Iranian and Jewish; I don’t know if I should hate him or hate him.’

American standup-comedian

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials.

(1931 – 2001) Canadian author, screenwriter & essayist

I look like a mix between a Jew and a guy who would drive by in a truck and yell "Jew.”

American comedian

I hate myself, but being Jewish has nothing to do with it.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer

Jewish Chess Masters on Stamps

My dad was old school Jewish… not do your taxes Jewish – steal your car Jewish.

American comedian & actor

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother’s side.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

If you really are superior, you don’t go around saying you’re superior – unless you’re Jewish.

Canadian-American comedian & writer