Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Keyword:
Kidnapped
When I was kidnapped my parents snapped into action… they rented out my room.
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Family
Parents
Self
Situations
Kidnapped
I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father; he said he wanted more proof.
Rodney Dangerfield
(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Fathers
People
Self
Finger
Kidnapped
Proof
The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, “We want five thousand dollars or you’ll see your kid again.
Rodney Dangerfield
(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family
Money
Parents
Situations
Kidnapped
I wouldn’t kidnap a man for sex, but I’m not saying I couldn’t use someone to oil the mower.
Victoria Wood
(1953 – 2016) British comedian, actress, singer & screenwriter
Men
People
Sex
Situations
Kidnapped
Lawnmowers