Keyword: Laziness

You ever look for the remote control and can’t find it, so you just decide, ‘Ah, it looks like I’m not watching TV.”

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Entertainment Television

Most people are so lazy, they don't even exercise good judgement!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Exercise Work

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Characteristics Eating Food/Drink

He's too lazy to scratch his own ass.

Characteristics Expressions

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

New Zealand writer
Definitions

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Money Things

You ever get a new cell phone and you're too lazy to transfer all the numbers over, so you just stop being friends with a bunch of people?

stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Things

Wouldn’t say soo-ee if the pigs were eating him

Miscellaneous

He’s so lazy, he’d marry a pregnant woman.

Characteristics Expressions

He wouldn’t holler sooey if the hogs was eatin’ em.

Miscellaneous

You are so lazy if you had a third hand, you’d need a third pocket to put it in.

Characteristics Expressions

Laziness is the mother of nine inventions out of ten.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

When I was a child, what I wanted to be when I grew up was an invalid.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Characteristics

Yeah, I'm kind of lazy… I'm dating a pregnant woman.


Dating People Relationships

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Characteristics

He’s got molasses in his britches.

Miscellaneous

I’m too lazy to work and too scared to steal.

professional baseball player
Baseball Characteristics Sports Work

Like a bump on a log

Miscellaneous

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

(1864 – 1910) French author
Characteristics Situations

I should have suspected my husband was lazy; on our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch."

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Husbands Marriage