Keyword: Los Angeles

I’m A Writer But Then Nobody’s Perfect

Epitaphs

Go to L.A. – they got gangbangers that will stab you, and then go to the corner and wait for the light to turn green.

American stand-up comedian
Conflict People Places

The only cultural advantage L.A. has over New York is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Driving New York City Places

L.A. is nothing but a bunch of driving, and I hate all that damn driving 'cause it interferes with my drinking.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Alcohol Food/Drink Places

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Places

They just tested the tap water in Los Angeles and they found traces of estrogen and antidepressants in the tap water… so it’s nice to know my son’s going to grow up and have huge breasts but it’s not going to bother him that much.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Places

Trying to give my kids an education in Los Angeles is a nightmare with the guns, the gangs, the drugs – and I'm home schooling them.

American comedian & writer
Conflict Drugs Education Places

There are two million interesting people in New York and only seventy-eight in Los Angeles.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
New York City Places

I live in a very dangerous part of Los Angeles… it’s called Los Angeles.

(1972 – ) American stand-up comedian
Places

You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
Activities

Go away – I’m asleep.

Epitaphs

L.A. is so celebrity-conscious, there's a restaurant that only serves Jack Nicholson – and when he shows up, they tell him there'll be a ten-minute wait.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Places Success

I’m from Los Angeles… I don’t trust any air I can’t see.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Places

If you ever thought you were ugly, Los Angeles is the place to come and find out you were right.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Places

L.A. is very dangerous; I carry a gun in my car, that way, in case the police stop me, I can fend them off until the press gets there.

American actor & writer
Arms Conflict Places

I don’t want to talk about it now.

Epitaphs

In Los Angeles, by the time you’re 35, you’re older than most of the buildings.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Age Old Places

Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.

(1867 – 1959) architect, interior designer, writer & educator
Places

You couldn't be a racist and live in L.A.; you'd be exhausted.

(1973 – ) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Places

Rodney Dangerfield – There Goes The Neighborhood

Epitaphs

Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Places