Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Keyword:
Lost
Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.
Mignon McLaughlin
(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Money
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Lost
Value
The best way to find something you have lost is to buy a replacement.
Ann Landers
(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Buy
Find
Lost
Replacement
I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.
Emo Phillips
(1956 – ) American comedian
Individuals
Alley
Large gay following
Lost
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Robertson's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Lost
You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.
Paul F. Crickmore
Science/Weather
Lost
Speed
Lost as a goose in a snowstorm
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Lost
Other expressions
If you find yourself lost in the woods, f**k it, build a house; “Well, I
was
lost but now I live here!”
Mitch Hedberg
(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations
Houses
Lost
Going fast while you are lost won't help a bit.
Anonymous
Science/Weather
Situations
Lost
Speed
The possibility of getting lost is directly proportional to the number of times the direction-giver says "you can't miss it."
Winfield's Dictum of Direction Giving
Murphy’s Laws
Giving directions
Lost
If you find yourself lost in the woods, f**k it, build a house; well, I was lost but now I live here – I have severely improved my predicament!
Mitch Hedberg
(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations
Home
Lost
He couldn’t find his ass with a flashlight and a roadmap.
Anonymous
Expressions
Intelligence
Stupidity
Confusion
Lost