Keyword: Medicine

The vet says the dog will not lick the salve because the salve tastes bad to the dog… hello?… he's already licking his ass.

(1960 – ) American comedian
Animals Dogs Health

Somebody once said that laughter is the best medicine, and that was clearly written by a man that never tried Vicodin.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
Activities Drugs Emotions Health Laughter

Laughter is the best medicine – unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.

(Robert Norman Davis) (1945 – ) British comedian & actor
Emotions Health Laughter

The less we know about a disease, the more medicines are available to treat it.

Health Murphy’s Laws

Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Doctors Health

At home now, I have cough medicine on tap.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Health

If medicine has made so much progress in the last 30 years, how come I felt better 30 years ago?

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
Health

“Herbal medicine’s been around for thousands of years!” … and then we tested it all, and the stuff that worked became ‘medicine’… and the rest of it is just a nice bowl of soup and some potpourri.

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Health

Medicine makes people ill, mathematics make them sad, and theology makes them sinful.”

(1483 – 1546) German monk, Catholic priest & professor of theology
Miscellaneous

I quit because I was in the hospital and I realized that I truly believed that laughter was the best medicine, but it turns out penicillin works a hell of a lot better.

(1971 – ) American comedian, actor, television host & former physician
Doctors Emotions Health Laughter

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle – keep away from children.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Children Health

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Health