Keyword: Mother-in-law

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ‘Get the hell off my property.’

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Family People Places

I can always tell when the mother-in-law’s coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.

(1931 – 1993) English comedian
Family Insults

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Family Situations

Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

Definitions Family

For years I wouldn’t kiss my mother-in-law on the cheek… and I end up kissing her ass!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Family

Never rely on the glory of the morning or the smiles of your mother-in-law.

Family Proverbs

Adam was the luckiest man: he had no mother-in-law.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Relationships

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast; turned out to be a trick knee.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Body Health Relationships

A husband always prefers his wife’s mother-in-law to his own.

Marriage

Secretary: It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law.

Field’s reply: Yes, it is, very hard… it’s almost impossible.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Death Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Two mothers-in-law.

(1832 – 1900) Lord Chief Justice of England & Wales
Marriage

At least fifty percent of the human race doesn’t want their mother-in-law within walking distance.

Murphy’s Laws Relationships