Keyword: Newspapers

Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

With the newspaper strike on, I wouldn't consider dying.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

I think that people who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

America is a country of inventors, and the greatest of inventors are the newspaper men.

(1847 – 1922) Scottish scientist, inventor, engineer & innovator

A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist

I had a paper route when I was a kid and I was supposed to go to 2,000 houses… or two dumpsters.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Everything you read in newspapers is absolutely true, except for that rare story of which you happen to have first-hand knowledge.

(1931–1994) American journalist

Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.

Press agent: How do I get our leading lady's name in your newspaper?
George S. Kaufman: Shoot her.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist

People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news.

(1904 – 1963) American journalist

A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any news in it or not.

(1707 – 1754) English dramatist & novelist

The difference between burlesque and the newspapers is that the former never pretended to be performing a public service by exposure.

(1907 – 1989) American writer

A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

A day without newspapers is like walking around without your pants on.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

No self-respecting fish would want to be wrapped in a [Rupert] Murdoch newspaper.

(1932 – 1997) newspaper columnist

I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Newspapers are unable, seemingly, to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilization.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Everything you read in the newspapers is absolutely true except for that rare story of which you happen to have firsthand knowledge.