Keyword: Olympics

Did you know that the only Israeli gold medal in the history of the Olympics was in sailing? … further reinforcing the stereotype that Jews don’t tip!

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Sports

There are too many weird Olympic events now, like that one where the gymnasts prance around the mat swirling a piece of ribbon… it’s called ‘rhythmic gymnastics’ – unless you’re five, then it’s called ‘playing.’

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian
Sports

It was further than I thought.

Equatorial Guinea swimmer
Sports

I’ll have a cup of tea.

Kenyan runner
Sports

I spent twelve years training for a career that was over in a week; Joe Namath spent one week training for a career that lasted twelve years.

(1949 – ) American Olympic athlete
Activities People Situations Sports

A silver medal gets you as many free beers as a gold medal does.

Australian Olympic shooter
Sports

Pain is something you expect. You can’t win an Olympic final waving at the crowd.

British rower
Sports

Oral sex should be an Olympic sport because it’s harder than curling, and if you’re good at it, you deserve a medal.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Sex Sports

Gold Medal Specialists. Sprints! Relays! Marathons! Hot and Raring to Go.

Sex Signs Sports

Finishing second in the Olympics gets you silver; finishing second in politics gets you oblivion.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
Government Politics Sports