Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Keyword:
Optimist
An optimist is a man who has never had much experience.
Don Marquis
(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
People
Experience
Optimist
An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be.
Anonymous
Characteristics
People
Optimist
Pessimists
Optimist: Someone who tells you to cheer up when things are going his way.
Anonymous
Definitions
Optimist
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Age
Individuals
People
Optimist
Pessimists
A man who calls bullshit fertilizer.
Frank Dane
(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Communication
Individuals
Language
Lies
Bullshit
Optimist
I'm not a pessimist, I'm an
optometrist.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Optimist
Optimist: An anti-skeptic.
Anonymous
Definitions
Optimist
Optimist: A middle-aged man who believes that the cleaners have been shrinking the waistband of his pants.
Anonymous
Body
Characteristics
Definitions
People
Optimist
You're like the pessimist, who looks at his pants and thinks they're half empty. You should be more like the
optometrist,
who looks through his glasses and thinks they're half full.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Optimist
The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.
Gladys Bronwyn Stern
(1890 – 1973) English writer & critic
Characteristics
People
Optimist
Pessimist